Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
