like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We're using joints as your birthday candles
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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