found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
