I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
