it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
