Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
