Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
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