Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
