i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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