she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
