Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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