hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
