I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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