is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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