I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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