You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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