Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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