i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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