Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
