i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
