She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
