i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
