babies were throwing up all over the place
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
