Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
