i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
3pm strippers are depressing
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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