areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I looked at my own cervix.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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