Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
