What a fucking waste of an outfit
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
