just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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