So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
