Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
