Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
