Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
