soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Randomize
