Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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