So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
