So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
