dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
