I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
