Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
how drunk are you?
Several
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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