I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
