Pants 0. Shit 1.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
