Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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