she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
