Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
