I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
