Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
