DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
