And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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