why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
